Listen, if someone finds you intimidating, that is a them problem. You did not walk into the room swinging a battle axe. You were not breathing fire. You just showed up fully formed, fully capable, and apparently too much for their fragile little worldview. And somehow, that is your fault? Absolutely not.   Intimidating is not a personality trait  it is a label people slap on you when they are uncomfortable with the fact that you are not begging for their approval. It is what happens when they expect deference and you give them competence. When they think you will shrink yourself to make them feel bigger, and instead, you stand your ground like someone who actually respects their own existence. And now they are spooked! Oh no a person with backbone! Alert the authorities! People rarely label confidence or assertiveness as intimidating when it fits their idea of what is normal. No one pulls someone aside just for speaking with clarity and conviction and whispers, Wow, th...

Work is often an emotional demolition derby disguised as a calendar full of quick syncs and low lift asks. You are not imagining it, it is chaotic. From the moment you log in, it is a stream of Teams pings, last minute fire drills, and existential crises in the breakroom or before turning on the camera.  And yet, we are all pretending like this is fine. Like it is normal to draft an email while low key spiraling, or to get performance feedback written in the tone of someone who asked ChatGPT to sound more empathetic. The raw, unfiltered truth is everyone is overwhelmed. Everyone is faking competence just enough to not get flagged in the group chat. Even that coworker, the same one who asked you to lean in while clearly leaning out emotionally, they are out here Googling how to say per my last email without sounding petty on their lunch break. Their car has seen things. That steely leadership vibe? It's 70% caffeine, 20% imposter syndrome, and 10% pretending to understand a deck the...

Let’s talk about the myth, the legend, the unicorn of corporate wellness work life balance. On paper, it is simple. Work at work. Be home at home. Easy, right? Just like assembling IKEA furniture without crying. There is a manual. There are tools. But somehow, halfway through, you are questioning every decision that got you here. Because here is the unspoken truth, for a lot of people, that clean boundary between work and life is a luxury. A perk. Something handed out between catered lunches and team building retreats. For the rest of us? That boundary is porous. Fluid. Sometimes, work kicks down your front door and sits at your dinner table. Other times, life leaks into your calendar invite with a dentist appointment, a daycare pickup, or a frantic text about forgotten lunch boxes. You might be thinking: Chi, it’s just a spreadsheet. It can wait. But let’s be honest with each other when that spreadsheet pays for groceries, braces, rent, and maybe the occasional therapy session, it...

There comes a point, usually around the 37th piece of constructive feedback in a week, when even the most motivated, well meaning employee starts thinking, Give me a break. I am trying my damn best. And honestly? They probably are. If you have ever felt like you are doing everything you can and your boss just keeps delivering feedback like it is Amazon Prime two day shipping, you are not alone. It is draining, demoralizing, and it makes even the most growth minded person start to shut down. The truth is, when feedback comes from the top of the org chart, it hits different. Think about the power dynamics here, because they matter. Feedback from a peer? Annoying. Feedback from a manager? It hits harder. It carries weight. It lingers. Because behind every note or suggestion from your manager is the question your brain automatically fills in.  Am I failing? Are they disappointed? Is my job at risk? Even if none of that is true, the emotional math still adds up to pressure. And when tha...

Your email did not find me well. It found me staring blankly at a blinking cursor, drinking cold coffee and clicking between tabs like I am trying to outrun a thought I do not want to finish. It found me tired, distracted, slightly annoyed at the font you chose, and trying to remember if I already completed the task you are asking about or just dreamed I did in the fog between meetings and checklists. So no. Not well. And here is the thing I know you probably did not mean it. Hope you’re well is not a question, and it is not really a sentiment either.  It is part of what I call sugar on top, sugar on bottom culture fake warmth up front, fake gratitude at the end, and a cold request sandwiched in between.  A nicety meant to mask the real purpose of the message a request, a reminder, a meeting that should have stayed a bullet point. It is not malicious. It is just habit. And maybe that is the problem. Lately my inbox does not feel like a place for communication. It feels like a ...

I want to talk about the expectation bomb. Do you know it? Clearly stated, uncommunicated expectations are pre planned resentments. (say it again for the people in the back)  And if you are clutching your pearls at that, you are probably the one who needed to hear it. We have all been there, seething quietly because someone should have known what we needed, expected, or assumed was obvious. But guess what? They did not know. People are not mind readers. They are just trying to survive their own calendar full of back to back Teams meetings, a hundred unread emails, and Susan from comp asking just one quick thing. Here is the truth, expecting people to magically meet standards you never actually told them about is a recipe for disaster. And it is not just annoying; it is toxic. It is workplace sabotage disguised as professionalism. Want that report done your way? Say so. Hoping for help on a project? Ask for it. Need your boss to actually give you real feedback instead of vague thumb...

Let’s get real for a minute we are not robots. We are not meant to grind for eight plus hours a day, five days a week, fueled by caffeine and denial, pretending Teams notifications aren’t slowly eating our souls. Yet here we are burnt out, over-meetinged, and holding it together with the classic “Sorry, I was on mute.”  Newsflash : it is not fine. Think of it like restarting your Wi-Fi when the connection sucks. You don’t just keep hitting refresh you unplug it, wait ten seconds, and let it reboot. Your brain needs the same damn courtesy.  You are not broken you are just overdue for a mental reset. And what the hell is a mental reset, anyway? It’s not a vacation (though those help). It’s not quitting your job in a blaze of glory (tempting, I know). A mental reset is a pause.. short or long…that gives your brain room to breathe, stretch, and stop spiraling into existential dread every time someone says, “Quick question…”  Let’s blame hustle culture for making breaks feel l...