Skip to main content

Midnight Manifesto

 
Listen, if someone finds you intimidating, that is a them problem. You did not walk into the room swinging a battle axe. You were not breathing fire. You just showed up fully formed, fully capable, and apparently too much for their fragile little worldview. And somehow, that is your fault? Absolutely not.
 
Intimidating is not a personality trait  it is a label people slap on you when they are uncomfortable with the fact that you are not begging for their approval. It is what happens when they expect deference and you give them competence. When they think you will shrink yourself to make them feel bigger, and instead, you stand your ground like someone who actually respects their own existence. And now they are spooked! Oh no a person with backbone! Alert the authorities!
People rarely label confidence or assertiveness as intimidating when it fits their idea of what is normal. No one pulls someone aside just for speaking with clarity and conviction and whispers, Wow, they are a bit much. No one suggests toning it down to make others more comfortable unless the person is challenging the unspoken rule to stay small, agreeable, or self doubting. The moment someone walks in with clear boundaries and genuine self worth? Suddenly, it is a problem. Suddenly, they are intimidating instead of simply being effective.
And frankly? We do not have time for this nonsense. If someone is intimidated by you simply existing, by you speaking in full sentences or refusing to giggle through a condescending remark, they should take that up with their therapist. Because it is not your job to hold their hand through their discomfort. It is not your job to minimize yourself so they can feel tall. And it is definitely not your job to pretend that being underestimated is some kind of compliment.
 
So this is your permission slip signed and sealed by Midnight You to stop twisting yourself into something more palatable just because someone lacks the emotional range to deal with presence. Walk in the room. Take up space. Say what needs to be said. If someone gets nervous? That is their journey. You are not responsible for how other people experience your confidence. And if they call you intimidating? Look them dead in the eye, raise an eyebrow, and say, Or are you just intimidated?
 
Then go back to living your life while they stare into the abyss, questioning everything.
 
How much longer are we supposed to dim the lights just so someone else can shine in peace? There is something wildly exhausting about constantly auditing your tone, softening your opinions, adding twenty exclamation points to your emails so no one thinks you are mad when you are literally just… working. Imagine that. Just existing at full wattage, and somehow it is seen as a threat. Sorry person, I did not realize me having ideas was a personal attack.
 
And you know what else? This whole intimidating label is just another recycled script, passed down like bad advice, telling us to shrink so someone else can feel bigger. Be nice, be agreeable, do not be too loud, do not be too smart, definitely do not be too ambitious it makes people uncomfortable. And for what? So someone from accounting feels secure enough to finish his spreadsheet? I do not think so.
 
Instead of internalizing intimidation  like it is something to fix, start treating it like a compliment. A red flag for people who were not ready for someone who does not perform humility just to make them feel superior. If someone finds you intimidating, chances are you are doing something right. You are showing up with unbothered energy and a refusal to apologize for your existence. You are not intimidating. You are just not shrinking and some people have no idea how to process that.
 
So the next time someone side eyes your confidence or labels you a lot, smile sweetly and remember you are not the emotional support animal for fragile egos. You are not a mirror for their insecurities. You are the whole damn message. And anyone who can not handle that? They can respectfully sit down and recalibrate preferably far away from you.
 
You did not come here to be palatable. You came here to be powerful. And that? That is absolutely terrifying to the right people.
ღ Chi


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Secret Sauce

Tuesday Takeover blog by Vanessa Angulo Have you ever worked with someone you liked? You trusted? Who you felt had your back? You would do anything for them, right?  If they ping you, you stop what you’re doing to help them.   Now think about a time where you weren’t that fond of someone, they rarely responded to your emails, they didn’t have your back in a meeting, or they just didn’t partner well.  Would you drop what you are doing in the moment to help them?  Would you prioritize them?    Exactly, you picking up what I am putting down right?   As someone who has had a variety of jobs, at different levels, in different industries, the one thing that stands out is having the ability to build relationships and genuine connections with people has proven to be the most critical skill you can carry with you into any job at any level in any industry . I don’t know about you, but I don’t how to pretend to care or fake it.  I truly care abou...
Post a Comment
Read more

Broken

I thought I needed to be fixed. What I really needed was to stop believing I was broken. I have chased every self help book, productivity hack, and mindfulness app like they were the holy grail. I kept trying to fix myself, my habits, my mindset, my flaws as if I was some kind of busted appliance waiting for a repair technician. But what I eventually stumbled into is I wasn’t broken. I was just convinced I was. That belief that something was wrong with me kept me in a cycle of endless tweaking, optimizing, and becoming my best self. Every rough edge felt like a defect. Every off day felt like proof. Every stumble screamed see, you are not enough yet. And then one day it hit me what if the problem wasn’t me, but the story I was telling myself? I didn’t need fixing. I needed permission to be whole as I was. Not perfect, not flawless, not endlessly polished. Just whole. When I stopped believing I was broken, everything shifted. Challenges didn’t mean failure. Imperfections didn’...
Post a Comment
Read more

Resolutions

While everyone else is panic buying gym memberships and promising to become an entirely different person by February, I’m rolling into this new year exactly as I am. Unapologetically. Intentionally. And with zero interest in your vision board that implies my current self isn’t enough. I am not broken, so there is nothing to fix. There is this wild assumption that January 1st should trigger some metamorphosis, like we are all caterpillars who have been waiting for permission to become butterflies. But you are already the butterfly. You have been one all along and the only thing you need to shed is the belief that you are supposed to be someone else. I have spent years building the person I am. My habits, my boundaries, my non negotiables, the way I take my coffee, the way I handle my business, the relationships I have cultivated, the ones I have walked away from. That wasn’t accidental. And I am not demolishing it because a calendar flipped. This Year My time with family is sacred and n...
Post a Comment
Read more