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The Sugar Sandwich

Your email did not find me well.
It found me staring blankly at a blinking cursor, drinking cold coffee and clicking between tabs like I am trying to outrun a thought I do not want to finish. It found me tired, distracted, slightly annoyed at the font you chose, and trying to remember if I already completed the task you are asking about or just dreamed I did in the fog between meetings and checklists.
So no. Not well.
And here is the thing I know you probably did not mean it. Hope you’re well is not a question, and it is not really a sentiment either. It is part of what I call sugar on top, sugar on bottom culture fake warmth up front, fake gratitude at the end, and a cold request sandwiched in between. A nicety meant to mask the real purpose of the message a request, a reminder, a meeting that should have stayed a bullet point. It is not malicious. It is just habit. And maybe that is the problem. Lately my inbox does not feel like a place for communication. It feels like a claw machine of unsolicited tasks each message another grab at my time, my focus, my last shred of mental bandwidth. And the polite wrapping paper does not soften the blow. In fact, sometimes it makes it worse. There is something particularly exhausting about being asked to perform cheerfulness in response to a calendar invite I did not want and can’t avoid. 
Can we just say what we mean? Can we start treating each other like people who are stretched thin, trying to stay afloat, doing our best under the weight of pings and dings and fast approaching deadlines? What if we acknowledged reality instead of dancing around it with prescripted warmth?
Imagine opening your inbox and seeing I know your day is probably already full. This won’t take long. Or this is an ask I will make it clear, and I will make it easy. Or no pressure to reply today. Just wanted this on your radar. Not snarky. Not cold. Just honest. Respectful of energy and attention because those are not limitless. They are currency and most of us are already overdrawn.
Better yet, imagine an email that actually met you where you are. I know you are running on no sleep and sheer determination. I will keep this brief. Or you are probably drowning in unread emails and Teams chats. Here is one more but I will try to make it painless. Or this meeting is going to cause us some heartburn. Sorry in advance.
That is the kind of honesty that does not just cut through the noise it respects the noise. It acknowledges the chaos we are all navigating, instead of pretending we are all doing great and thrilled to follow up. We do not need artificial warmth. We need real understanding.
And if you genuinely care how I am doing…
Send a meme.
Send something that makes me laugh so hard I forget where I am for a second.
Or better yet send nothing that requires a response.
That is the new wellness check.
Your email does not have to find me well. But it can find me like a human being.

ღ Chi

Call to Action: What is the most ridiculous email opener you have seen lately? Let’s make a hall of fame.


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