Decoding Us

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about my leadership team. I love these people they are smart, committed, and talented  but I see us struggling sometimes. Not because anyone is failing, but because we’re not always working together as smoothly as we could.

Initiatives stall. Decision making can get messy. Workloads pile up, and instead of easing each other’s load, we sometimes add to it. Our teams feel it too. 

Nobody really tells you this, leadership isn’t just about meeting decks and performance metrics. It’s about people. And learning people takes energy. Not the what’s your title and role kind of learning, but the deeper, more exhausting, more rewarding kind. The kind where you know who shuts down in a crowded room, who thrives under pressure, who needs context before decisions, and who just wants you to land the plane.

It’s not one size fits all. Some people are easy, you pick up their rhythms quick. Others feel like you are studying for a pop quiz every time you talk to them. And if you are leading as a team? Multiply that by ten. You are learning personalities, stress responses, trust levels, communication styles all while still doing your own job.  That is the invisible weight leaders carry every day. You are not just managing workloads you are decoding humans while trying to keep initiatives moving.

when you get it right, people rarely notice. They just feel seen. The meeting runs smoother, the email lands better, the tension doesn’t spike. But when you get it wrong oh, that’s when you notice. The pause gets longer, the response colder, the project rougher.

Learning people is part of the work. It’s how collaboration stops being chaos and starts being actual progress.

So yeah it takes energy. But so does everything that matters.

That’s what made me start wondering what if we stopped treating these friction points as random speed bumps, and instead created a system to address them?

A kind of  leadership boot camp? Not a ropes course, not a team building exercise just for the sake of it. Something practical, a structured session to diagnose, reset, and align on how we work together.

Here’s how I imagine it going…

Step 1: Diagnose the What-Consider sending a short, anonymous poll to capture honest feedback, with these questions.

1. On a scale of 1-10, how safe do we feel disagreeing on this team?

2. What’s one thing we do well?

3. What’s one thing we could change to work more effectively together?

(Facilitator note haha I learned this from a deck) Share results with the team without debating or defending. The goal is to see patterns and friction points, not to argue about who is right. Focus on execution, workload, and decision making clarity.

Step 2: Cocreate Ground Rules, practical agreements about how the team operates. The facilitator would guide the discussion using these four buckets.

1. Communication-How can we communicate so that messages are clear, expectations are obvious, and we are not adding confusion or rework?

Example:

Assume positive intent in emails, IM’s, and meetings.

No interruptions in meetings, everyone gets the floor.

Clarify tone before reacting.

2. Conflict-Disagreements are inevitable. How do we debate ideas without slowing down decisions or making it personal?

Example:

Challenge ideas, not people.

Debate ideas fully, then support the decision as a team.

Use I see it differently because…instead of shutting down discussion.

3. Trust & Vulnerability- How do we make it safe to admit mistakes, ask for help, or acknowledge when we are overloaded?

Example:

Start meetings with a quick check in.

Admit when we don’t know something.

Recognize and appreciate when someone takes a risk or speaks up.

4. Who owns the final decision?-How do we make decisions efficiently without uncertainty?

Example:

Be explicit about who has final decision making authority before discussions start.

Consensus is ideal, but not required the decider decides.

Once a decision is made, do not reopen it unless new information changes the game.

Facilitator notes-

Keep each bucket to 2–3 rules max.

Write the rules in your own words, keep them practical.

Have the team commit. publicly signing them makes it real.

Emphasize these are not slogans, they are tools for execution, alignment, and workload management.

Step 3: Implement it into your routine.

A boot camp is not enough if it stays in a deck. Here is how the team might put the learning into action.

Begin each leadership meeting with a quick check in  or fun question 

End meetings by asking Did we follow our ground rules today?

Call out when rules are honored or ignored.

Re run the 3 question anonymous poll every 2–3 months to track improvement.

Have each leader make a spoken, personal commitment. This week I will…

These steps keep the Ground Rules alive and focused on the outcomes that matter most, clean execution, aligned initiatives, and balanced workloads.

I’m not suggesting this because the team is broken. We just need clarity, alignment, and predictable ways of working together so we can execute effectively.

Thinking through a boot camp even just imagining it helps me see exactly where we stumble and what could help. And that clarity alone makes me feel more in control of the work, the team dynamic, and the outcomes we are responsible for.

ღ Chi