Skip to main content

Who Are You Really Doing This For?

You know that feeling. It’s late, and you are grinding away on a project, and the thing keeping you going isn’t a dream, it’s a grudge. It’s the memory of someones smirk, their dismissive comment, the way they wrote you off. That fire is real. It gets you moving. I’ll show them, you think. And you do.

And for a while, it works. Proving people wrong is a powerful, intoxicating motivator. But it’s corrosive. It’s tied to a moment in the past where you were small, underestimated, or disrespected. Your entire drive becomes a reaction to someone else’s limited vision. and that fire… it burns fast. And it leaves you with ashes. You finally get there, You get the promotion, you launch the business, you hit the goal, and the first person you think of isn't yourself or your loved ones, it's them. The doubter. It’s like you built a whole beautiful house but you’re still staring out the window, waiting for the person from your past to walk by and see it. The victory feels hollow, because it was never really for you, was it? It was a reaction.

It makes me wonder what would happen if we took all that energy all that late night, grinding, teeth gritting fuel and pointed it in a different direction. What if we took all that fire we pour into proving the doubters wrong and channeled it into proving the believers right?

The ones who never needed convincing. The friend who heard your wild idea and just nodded, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. The family member who’s always in your corner, not because you’re winning, but just because you’re you. The mentor who saw a spark in you before you knew it was a dream. These people don’t hand you a shield to defend yourself they hand you a mirror to see your own potential. And proving them right is a completely different kind of energy.

Proving them right feels completely different. It’s not a fight. It’s not about ego. It’s quieter. It comes from a place of gratitude, not revenge. It’s the difference between building a wall to keep the haters out and tending a garden for the people who gave you the seeds.

One path is about defending a version of yourself from the past. The other is about growing into the person someone already trusts you to be. One feeds your need for validation. The other… that one feeds your soul.

So, how do you make the shift?   Great question let me tell you…

Identify Your Believers. Take a moment and actually write down their names. Who are the people in your corner, no questions asked? It might be a surprisingly short and powerful list. The next time you’re working on something big, share it with one of your believers instead of hiding it from the doubters. Let their encouragement in while you are in the process, not just at the finish line. When the going gets tough, and you need motivation, don't reach for the memory of the person who said you couldn't. Reach for the face of the person who knows you can. Ask yourself: Who believed in me to get this far? I’m doing this for them, too.

This isn’t about ignoring the doubt or pretending it doesn’t sting. It’s about choosing a more sustainable, joyful, and ultimately more powerful source of strength. Stop carrying the weight of those you have to prove wrong. Start being lifted by the faith of those you get to make proud.

ღ Chi

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hit the Damn Reset Button. Your Brain is Begging You To

Let’s get real for a minute we are not robots. We are not meant to grind for eight plus hours a day, five days a week, fueled by caffeine and denial, pretending Teams notifications aren’t slowly eating our souls. Yet here we are burnt out, over-meetinged, and holding it together with the classic “Sorry, I was on mute.”  Newsflash : it is not fine. Think of it like restarting your Wi-Fi when the connection sucks. You don’t just keep hitting refresh you unplug it, wait ten seconds, and let it reboot. Your brain needs the same damn courtesy.  You are not broken you are just overdue for a mental reset. And what the hell is a mental reset, anyway? It’s not a vacation (though those help). It’s not quitting your job in a blaze of glory (tempting, I know). A mental reset is a pause.. short or long…that gives your brain room to breathe, stretch, and stop spiraling into existential dread every time someone says, “Quick question…”  Let’s blame hustle culture for making breaks feel l...
2 comments
Read more

Expectation Bomb

I want to talk about the expectation bomb. Do you know it? Clearly stated, uncommunicated expectations are pre planned resentments. (say it again for the people in the back)  And if you are clutching your pearls at that, you are probably the one who needed to hear it. We have all been there, seething quietly because someone should have known what we needed, expected, or assumed was obvious. But guess what? They did not know. People are not mind readers. They are just trying to survive their own calendar full of back to back Teams meetings, a hundred unread emails, and Susan from comp asking just one quick thing. Here is the truth, expecting people to magically meet standards you never actually told them about is a recipe for disaster. And it is not just annoying; it is toxic. It is workplace sabotage disguised as professionalism. Want that report done your way? Say so. Hoping for help on a project? Ask for it. Need your boss to actually give you real feedback instead of vague thumb...
Post a Comment
Read more

Fuel The Flame

Forget the org chart. Toss the employee handbook. There is a raw, unscripted kind of magic at work no one tells you about. It is not necessarily your boss or your direct report it is your ride or die. This is the one who speaks your chaos fluently, deciphers your frantic shorthand like it is poetry, and fires back a "YUP. Saw that too" Teams message before you exhale.  They are the voice defending you in rooms you will never enter.  They are not just supportive they are catalytic. Throw you two in a room and you can’t be tamed. You bring the fuel they bring the detonator. Kaboom. This is not about climbing ladders it is about lighting up the hallway as you walk it.    Whether they are on your team or in another department, they are the one who sees your vision, challenges your ideas into something sharper, and tells you do it when you float something wild. They do not slow you down  they set you on fire (in the best way). You will know your ride or die when your...
Post a Comment
Read more