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The Monsters Under Your Bed

The monsters under your bed have nothing on the ones in your head.  You may need to read that again. Remember being a kid, executing that Olympic worthy long jump from the doorway to your bed, certain something was waiting to grab your ankles? The relief when you made it safely under the covers was real.  

The funny thing is, adult monsters are so much worse. They don’t hide under furniture where you can spot them with a flashlight. They live inside your head, set up shop in your chest, and have a direct line to your nervous system. Your "strong work ethic" handed them the master key, Teams pings at midnight, the unread email counter that never zeros out, the dopamine hit of "quick questions" that are neither quick nor questions.  

Let me introduce you to the real monsters we deal with every day:  

  • The Fraud Goblin, who waits until you’re about to present something important to whisper, You're Not Good Enough  
  • The Gravedigger Zombie, excavating your past regrets like that time you called the client Carol instead of Carla in the 2021 presentation deck (yes, it still matters to no one but you).
  • The What If? Vampire, draining your present dry by obsessing over every possible future disaster.  

Weirdly, we’re less scared of these than the imaginary ones. At least the bed monster was external you could check under the bed, scream for Mom, or sleep with your feet tucked in. But the ones in your head? You can’t outrun what’s already inside you.  

I think we’d rather fight a literal demon because facing inner shit is messy. There’s no Gotcha! moment where you yank the monster into the light and it turns out to be a dust bunny. Work monsters are sneaky they disguise themselves as hustle or responsibility.

  • That knot in your stomach before a big meeting? Monster.
  • The way your thumb hovers over LinkedIn at your kid’s soccer game? Monster.
  • The voice hissing, If I just work harder, I’ll finally feel valuable? That’s the Monster boss battle.  


Here’s how to fight back without losing your mind  

  • Name it. A monster you can label loses half its power. That creeping dread when your boss reads your message but doesn’t reply? Meet Mrs. Seen and Left Unanswered.   
  • Starve it. Every minute you spend doom scrolling work chat is another snack for monsters. 
  • Lock the door. Turn off notifications after hours. Let the inbox monster sulk in the dark. 
  • Laugh at it. Oh wow, my brain really thinks this spreadsheet is life or death. Adorable. 

You’ll never fully eliminate these monsters. Some days they’ll still drag you into the mental dumpster. But the goal isn’t perfection, it’s not letting them run the whole show.  

So tonight, when you’re staring at the ceiling, ask yourself, What’s scarier the monster under your bed, or the one you’ve been carrying this whole time?  

Then close the damn app. Let it starve.  
(Or at least mute Teams.)  

ღ Chi

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